What's white and sticky.... Jizz

Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

How you know when dislextic

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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