Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops