How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

What's upside down? umop apisdn

when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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