In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

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What are kids supposed to do in American classrooms if a nuke hits nearby? Hide under the desk. (This is a fact) Moral: Like that is gonna help... seriously that is ridiculous!

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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