Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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roses are red poo is poo

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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