Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

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what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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