Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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