Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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Knock Knock the door's open, come in

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile. get in the batmobile.

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bite me

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops