Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

thumb_up thumb_down +20

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

thumb_up thumb_down +14

guess what? bannanas

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops