Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Dan walked into a jelly fish

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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whats funny about the klu klux klan? nothing is funny at all about it because they cause pain and suffering to afircan amaricans and other ethnic groups.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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