Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the black man so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops