Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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