How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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