If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

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Your mom is so dumb that she had a below average score on her IQ test.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. It's also a bistro, and they have a lovely lunch together.

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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