If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's upside down? umop apisdn

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops