How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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Well this is pointless.....

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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