Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops