A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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