A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

Womans baksetball...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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