Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

thumb_up thumb_down -56

How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What's just not right? Left

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

thumb_up thumb_down +25

roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

thumb_up thumb_down +25

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops