What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

What's round and cheesy? A cheese wheel.

A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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