Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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