Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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