Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Chip and Dale walk into a bar. Chip is black now.

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops