A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Who's Juan? DIS ONE

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops