Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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