So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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it

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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