A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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