Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops