If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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