Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Gay rights.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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