roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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If life gives you lemonade.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops