Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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