Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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