1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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