What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

robin, get in the car.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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