how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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