What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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robin, get in the car.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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