A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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