whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +33

men, men like men= men+bed

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

thumb_up thumb_down +27

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops