Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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There was once a man who lived in a box.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops