How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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