Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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ekoj

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This joke isnt funny.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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whats worse then being lit on fire? dont worry about that right now your ass is on fire!

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How do you call a half deaf duck? HEY DUCK!!!!!!

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Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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ghjwASFDJHKJZFKLJFHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA GGGG DG FUC K DISLIKE ME!

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He cheated at boggle.

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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