there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

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A person with OCD walked into a abr.

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Hello

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

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Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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God is religiously proven to be real

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

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The number one killer of daredevil's is the ground.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops