A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

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whats the diffference between pizza and a jew? burning a pizza makes me sad, burning a jew is worthy of a party!

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

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if u r not my friend, like this joke

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Once upon a time, a princess was hungry. and there was a frog wearing a tux for some reason.so the princess ate him. THE END.

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so does your mom…

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What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

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chuck norris

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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Your mom is so old, -just kidding. I know she died at a young age.

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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