A baby seal walks in to a club

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops