What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

thumb_up thumb_down +114

All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

thumb_up thumb_down +56

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Chuck Norris is a normal man.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A boy with red hair is happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

thumb_up thumb_down +32

BIG PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down +32

nathan palmer has a big head !

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops