A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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1+1= 69

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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im jewish

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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