Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

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A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have genital warts Now you do too

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

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a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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What did the man with leprosy say to the prostitute? Keep the tip

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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What’s the difference between Cool and Kool, the way you spell it

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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ASSCHEEKS

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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alcoholism kills

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a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops