Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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What's 9 +10 19

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops