Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -96

What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

thumb_up thumb_down +127

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

thumb_up thumb_down +51

roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

im jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops