How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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^that joke's not funny

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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fart

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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