- Anti Joke

A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

im jewish

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

No.

Roses are flowers jordan does it for hours xxxxif ya know what i mean

What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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