How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I have cancer. And you're next.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops