your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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