My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

All of these jokes are about white people

How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

guess what? bannanas

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

roses are black violets are black i am blind

your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

A bar walks into a man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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