- Anti Joke

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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