Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

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Why was the priest lying still? Because his son shot him

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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