Jimmy Saville

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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roses are red poo is poo

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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