There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I'm homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

homosexual rights to marriage

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops