Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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