A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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q- what do you call a small number of black people running away from a large group of white people? a- every marathon known to man...

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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