the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops