Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops