- Anti Joke

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops